Saturday, August 16, 2008

DEAR DIARY – My KL and Singapore Escapade Part 1: “Asia Malaysia – truly Asia”

DEAR DIARY – My KL and Singapore Escapade
Part 1: “Asia Malaysia – truly Asia”

Jan. 10, 2008, Thursday 8:00 pm
This will be my first leaving the country alone and wow am I excited or what? I’ve been planning to visit KL and SG for months now, and my first plan was around December however it’d be a busy time to meet friends and new people since it’d be the holidays, plus prices can be tripled while staying in hotels. So booked my flight for today and here I am at NAIA International Airport. Though alone I just can’t wait the unknown encounters that could happen while I’m there and it just gives me the thrill. By the way, just a week ago I was on the same airport so I could make hated to Dong. Oh I miss him loads, he was on his way to Brunei for work and won’t be back for a year. Just when romance was about to blossom, damn Lady Irony ruined everything just as she planned it! What a bitch!

Anywho, guess who I met while boarding my luggage. Saw Juy from my CVG days and told me she’ll be flying for SG straight and was trying her luck there. We said our goodbyes after a few chukka and head off our separate ways. Called a few friends to say a quick goodbye and then before I knew I was on a plane, on my 3-hour flight to KL, just like a poor kitten scared but keyed up to the world unknown to me…

Jan. 11, 2008 Friday, 1:30 AM - I was got past Malaysian immigration and boy, different kinds of Asian people were everywhere and it just struck me that I was really there, on my own. Wow, I made it alive! Hehe. Just as I was waiting for my cute maroon Delsey luggage, two girls caught my attention since they were both talking in Visayan dialect. I immediately approached then and introduced myself and told them it was my first time. Quickly each of us got along well. However, these were the kind of girls who’d usually hang out at CafĂ© Havana in GB3, lurking for Caucasians. True enough, they were close to high-class pokpoks, but I was thrown back by their friendly nature which made us ‘tight’ right away (because sa Globe, tight tayo!). Or maybe I was just being a big Tupperware. Lol. All three of us headed for the city in a big SUV taxi for about 80 RM (Ringgit), approximately 900 PHP which is like the normal rates from the airport to main KL but I still think is ridiculous. Gosh, speaking of taxi, gawd that cab driver was from hell! Bombay-looking mama that I just wanted to bitch-slap right away!

Then we got off, after an hour ride (imagine, an hour ride just from the airport to KL city, with that driver?) and I immediately compared that KL strip for Makati Ave and Burgos street in Pinas with allthe fancy lights scattered all over. Finally we were to look for an affordable hotel for about P1800 a night, we all just wanted to throw off our stuff and look for a place to eat! I was able to scour for a 711 and immediately bought a pack of Marlboro Menthol and we then headed a Chinese resto and before I knew it, I was having my first taste of Malaysian cooked meal – which turned out blah-tasting as I’m not really a big fan of Chinese foods. Hehe.

3:00 pm – I have this Malaysian friend, Vincent who visited Manila a few months back who I kind have a thing with and I asked him to meet me while I’m here in KL and he said yes, why of course why whould he say no? Hehe. He even offered me to stay at his place which was about 30 minutes away. When I saw, gawd he was such a dreamy guy – 5’9”, fair Korean looking bastard, I just wanted to give him a kiss right then and there outside KFC with everyone to see and just start my plan of “Babuyin ang KL and SG” plan but thought otherwise and said to myself that I’d have plenty of time. Hehe. As we were about to leave for his place, I just decided to just look for a better hotel and stay for the night (so we could have nice time together, oh boy my plan was working out quite well) and ditched the botches and told them to keep in touch.
I stayed at this posh little hotel, which was convenient and yeah affordable, and once we got in, I just told Vincent I’d take a shower and once I was done, he just couldn’t take his hands off me, which I willingly obliged to whatever he was planning on doing. Snort snort, wink. Hot encounter number 1.

4:00 pm - Afterwards, we went out for a nice early dinner somewhere nearby, and off we start strolling around town and gave me a nice tour. It was kinda surreal, leisurely walking the streets of KL, again on my own. This was a different vibe as compared to my European tour when I was a teen. It was liberating and the feeling was too much to bear, I was just damn haapppppyyy! We went to this mall, which was very much like Greenbelt 5 but larger and classier. There was also a mini-acrobatic show as the month nearing the Chinese New Year and watched for a bit. Oh twas such a blissful time! I just really fell in love with KL. Streets were clean, had a diverse culture too, with an architecture that spelled success in their business corner which I loved a lot.

Alas, Vincent had to go home that night and promise he’d be back the next morning as he had plans with family which was fine with me. I continued my night stroll alone, Starbucks time while doing wifi business on Nono’s laptop then head home after and slept. I din’t know I was that exhausted and just dozed off before midnight…I remember I had a nice dream that night…

Jan 12, 2008 Saturday, 1:00 pm

Vincent was running late. I was able to transfer to a better hotel, Radius which was better and more comfortable at about 12 noon. II was already settled at my room, Room 931 had a nice view of KL, there was one tower in KL which was all about some IT thingie and the pool below my window. So I texted Vincent to take his time before he meet me so I could have a few hours by myself to look around for a PC. You see I decided to just buy this laptop in KL, Vincent advised me that it’d be cheaper to buy one here. Anyway, off I went to BB plaza around 2ish, went straight to the 4th floor, which to them would be the 3rd floor as the ground floor would be a different level.BB Plaza was quite similar to Greenhills only better as it was all air-conditioned and bigger. First few levels and whew twas already crowded, the 2nd level was already cramped. 2nd level was the cellphone section, while the next one would be computers and peripherals. I just found out it was electronics sale for the whole, oh yeah. You should have seen my haggling skills, I was working it! So I scouted the place for a nice one, I was torn between Acer aspire and a cute white Benq model. I later then settled for the latter which I was a good idea and a good bargain. I mean the specs were quite impressive with loads of freebies. As I was about to leave the place, man was it pouring outside so I just stayed in for awhile, as the rain started to settle down a lil bit, I bravely walked briskly towards my hotel which was probably less than a mile.
At about past 8, I met Vincent. Still the cute guy that he is, I asked him to cuddle up a bit. After awhile off we went walking towards KLCC mall, with the ever-famous Petronas tower was perfectly situated. KLCC mall is more of high-class shopping center with tons of nice shops everywhere. Since both of us were dying to eat dinner, we settled for a nice Chinese resto again and just devoured everything on sight, the menu of course. I was just too overwhelmed with how things are going. I mean back in Manila, I thought I was going to be alone the whole time, thank God for good looks, Vincent was smitten. Hehe. After the nice feast, we wandered around and there I saw a huge man-made lake at the back of KLCC mall, and yeah people just all over. Of course, the trip wouldn’t be complete without photo ops. Click here and there, I was just having one hell of a good time.

Jan. 13, 2008 12:00 midnight - We decided for a trip to Starbucks which almost made the night complete. As an almost Starbucks freak, I just happily sipped my fave Caramel Frap and talked
with Vincent. Just as V was also busy surfing (as I brought my laptop along, oh and by the way, there’s like free wifi service everywhere in KL, much to say about as compared here in Manila, bullshit!), I texted another Malaysian guy who I met through a gay website and decided we’d meet him at the hotel. V was very excited as he said he liked the guy since I showed him a picture as V said he‘s seen him around and was cuti-fied, much to my delight.

Off we went back to the hotel, V and I took a quick shower and once the other Malaysian guy was downstairs in the lobby, we hurried down to meet him. At first V said that if in case he wasn’t that good-looking, I’d be the one to shrub him off which eventually did not happen at all. His name was Fred, about 5’7” tall,a medium built chinito-mestizo Flight Attendant and damn hot. I was just trying to feel the vibe if he’d be interested. Much to my delight, he was even he one who asked if we could go back to my hotel room. We’ve talking non-sense before that, trying to get to know each other before we finally got the hint we were after. A go signal and we didn’t waste time. First I was on the right side of the bed, V on the left while we sandwiched F in the middle. V was quite aggressive and started his way on F, and F working his way on me. Kissing and caressing and hands just groping things that needed to be done. One by one, clothes were being thrown all over and next thing I know we were all, gosh (surprised) naked. Am I really going to do this by details everyone? I mean what do three hot sexual guys in a room would do? All I know now is that I never regretted that moment I texted F as it was the best three way ever and even went on to two rounds. LOL. What can I do, I’m a young man who has needs. Although I felt guilt-ish over Dong, again I’m only human. Boy I really had a fantastic time, something that I never expected would happen while I was vacationing this wonderful place named KL. Sadly F had to leave at around 6 am as he had an early flight and kissed each other goodnight. Right after F left, V and I went on for third round…you hot yet? Two hot guys in one night Superguy? Not bad.

Any comment and suggestions, feel free to drop a message.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Commuting Bloopers

Commuting Bloopers

Just thinking about this either makes me cringe or die laughing already. When in the Metro Manila, being stuck in traffic alone is torture enough bunt when unexpected scenarios happen, it’s almost the end of the world! Although there are some strange benefits it gives, mainly pointing out in a perverted mind, you’ll know as you read along.

Taxi – I called out for one one day on my way to work during wee hours, just my usual on work days. Little did I know this will be a night which will inspire me to write this and maybe even help a lot of people be warned. Haha. As I was doing my business, sitting around in the backseat just waiting before I reached the office and alas, a strange foul smell just suddenly loomed out –the while I was still in air-conditioned cab! Trapped and helpless, I slowly opened the window on my side, and slowly breathe in the Manila air which by the way can be poisonous as well and just acted as if nothing happened. In truth, be careful everyone of FARTING CAB DRIVERS! Ugh, the smell was terrible as if ‘it’ hasn’t been flushed out for days! Good gracious, I mean what’s I do to deserve this, the smell went straight to my nostrils and gave me a terrible headache which I couldn’t handle not until I opened the window. Gawd! Moral lesson here – before attempting to ride a cab, always ask first “Kuya, natate ka ba ngayon?” Then make your decision after he answers. LOL. Gosh, how I wish I passed gas just the same during that time so he’d know he has competition. LOL again.

Oh, oh, oh, another taxi kwento. Same scenario, another taxi drive on my way to work and this just happened a few weeks back. This time, the cab driver BURPED and lets out this stinking gas from his mouth that caused too much distress on me at that time. Goodness, what are these people eating these days . I swear I could just die at that moment. Haha. One time, I was with someone and we were on a taxi ride on our way home, again fetid smell came about. My friend immediately reacted, “May umutot” while looking at me. At that very moment, we just burst out laughing. We knew the cab driver farted! Arrrggghhh! And all these actually happened in just less than a year! There should be a law against this. Haha.

Oh and by the way, why the hell do some cab drivers soooo choosy. Like just say for example, you’re in Makati and just mention the word, say SM City North or even Fairview (I’m exaggerating), which is in QC and these drivers would close their doors themselves and say, take a hike bitch! I mean who the fuck are you kiddin, you guys are the ones tryin to make a living huh? Although I can’t blame these poor mugsies coz of the heavy traffic but heck, why should I blame myself either? I wanna go to Fairview in a cab, do something about it, I’ll pay! Hehe. I’m sure there are a lot of you guys who can relate to me on this. Damn fockers. Another ironic thing here, when one of those days, I don’t need to ride one and wooosshhh all these cabs come rushing in out nowhere and on the next day I DO need one, and wow it’s either they’re full or just completely obliterated like someone cast a spell for them to be gone. Geez Louise…

Jeeps - You guys know that each of us has our own bubble or personal space right? Some people just don’t get it. Most of my experience usually involves women, just stupid women who just won’t stop. Like there was a time, just minding my own business, in came a fat lady with long hair. See there was just a few of us on the jeep and a lot space for everyone and shit she just felt sitting beside me. At that time, I just really wanted to ask her if she’d like to sit on my lap! Gawd! Sometimes these dumb girls with long hair who’d sit beside me just couldn’t care less where their smelly hair would fall into, or should I say land into, my face! I mean it’s common sense it’s an open commuting service so air would be blowing everywhere, so I assume they’d know their hair would be out of place, they could for the very least tie their hair, argh just thinking about it now I think of scissors or a hair clip! Damn bitches, they just won’t die. And oh, you can see the weirdest of the weirdest guys on the jeep, and sometimes when these crazy commuters are the same jeep as I am, I sometimes pray for my soul right then and there – you’ll never know when they’d crank up and pull that knife and say “I feel like stabbing you.” Or or or, my sister had this unforgettable experience when one time she wore short shorts and by god-strike-now, the guy in front of him was a deliberately salivating and wanted to eat her legs! Then the bastard unzipped and oh please don’t let me say it – masturbated, in front her! If he was Brent Javier, then by god, he needn’t ask! Lol.

MRT/LRT – one of my favorite ones. Well this is kinda naughty, tee hee. For us third sexes, we think of exciting. Tee hee again. You know how sometimes the trains could get extremely be crowded, and you know people are literally breathing behind your neck. And ugh, you can sometimes be stuck in a roomful of lashed-out doggies who have been doing nothing but sun-bathe doing some metal work and would smell like a dump. Anyway, as someone who likes to have casual or anonymous sex, sometimes it enthuses some electricity down there when someone behind you unconsciously rubs their dicks behind you. Ohhh such a thrill! I’m telling you, everyone should try it sometime! Lol. Especially when you find out the guy behind you was a mamma mia, oh-la-la gorgeous, hello! Hmmm I might take the train later come to think of it! Oh by the way, has anyone noticed that there can be quite a lot of cute guys riding the train from time to time, another excuse to try these old but nice transport. My eyes can get full in a less than a minute ogling, from cute mestizo students (preferably medical students in their cute white uniforms) to hunky and hot yuppies and the occasional still-sizzling daddies (say it a British accent to feel the vibe!). I can only do nothing but sigh!

Last but not the least for now, the bus (well there are still cranky or can be hot encounters riding on a tricycle, pedicab or even a motorcycle but we’ll spill those some other time). Usually riding in a bus here in manila can be a drag, as it’d usually stop in almost every corner and with those driver-from-hell, god, anything can happen. Not to mention the smell, ugh you could just die. People from all walks of life rides the bus and you’d be lucky if there’s anyone who’d smell like a Victoria Secret biyatch (ahem, that would me). To make my experience every time exciting, I’d usually sit on a two-seater just maybe thinking a cute guy boarding could spot me and sit beside me. Oh things can get a lil gooey after that, if you know what I mean, hehe. Especially if you’re seated at the far corner where no one really cares what the heck’s happenin. Man, I remember those days. Haha. Go figure. Yes, the usual cruising for the fags can happen in a bus, hello? Oh I’ve heard stories from the heteros too, but usually I’d get bored – not exciting enough to give me a boner. Ooopp R-18 here.

Come to think of it, it’s really up to you how you can make your ride a little stimulating. Sometimes you can just concentrate on your ipod and SOL (sing out loud dum dum), or maybe just look outside the window and count the ugly populace in the metro just for laughs or you can get down and dirty, in any way you’d want it. Just make sure the receiving end has their consent. Bleeh.

Comment, suggestions, or even your crappy experience, feel free to drop me a line.

True ‘Fwendship’ Never Ends

True ‘Fwendship’ Never Ends

August 3, 2008 – the night after my birthday, my date - Rob and my supah-friend Charisse and I were on our way to Dampa in Macapagal. My good, no, make that terrific friends and I made plans a week or two ago to plan a combined birthday bash for the Leo bitches who’ll be celebrating the month of, of course the Leo’s of the zodiac. It was also an excuse to just unwind and spend a lot of money and de-stress and laugh and drink the night away and not think about the stress work has on us. It was also some sort of a despida for one of our good friend, Eumir and her boyfriend, who’ll be leaving for SG very soon whom we’ll miss a whole lot.

All of us have actually met in the same company we’re at now, and Charisse was the first one to leave the group, or shall we say was able to escape from “her” (remember the song ‘She’s Out Of My Life’ – referring to ‘her chubbynessence’). We’ve been in the same old company for more than 3 years now and we’ve all been friends for almost the same quantity of time and it has and will always be a fun ride. You see, being a Leo, I’m very loyal to my friends, especially the one’s I’ve made connection with (not just the yosi-kardada but more than that of course). I feel it’s my obligation never to let anything stir up and break the group. These are people who, without a blink, I’d die for. Well, not to that extent but close. I know they’d also do the same. Right? Right? I hear a yes somewhere.

Every morning on a work day, we’d usually have our Daily Dose – it’s just the usual gathering which normally happens around 4 or 5 in the morning, we’d eat and right after smoke a stick of yosi or two. You see, I’ve grown accustomed to this set-up that our day wouldn’t be complete without it. When good friends Gelai and Mike resigned from the company, somehow we felt empty. Then came Jowi, then we’re back. Our office setting is never complete without any good news, or chika be it from husband’s coming home and the the fights or BF fights, food, places (ie Singapore or Canada) and yeah good ol’ dependable sex trips. Har Har. We’d talk anything that can be thought of. Yes, our bunch can be very rowdy most of the time, and I take pride that we are the ‘Opposition’ from the corrupt bitches at work, who like to not only like think of ‘crab-mentality’ as a sport but also have a tonful of love for kissing large asses. But beyond it all, it was really the bond I had the most affection for. Just being with smart, talented, quirky, fun-loving bitches can be a thrill.

Of course, in any relationship, there would be hard times like for the first time Cha and I had an arguments after a long time of all fun and laughter. Cha had her point, I had mine (which made more sense than hers, hehe) and thinking about it now makes me teary-eyed as I don’t want anything to stain our relationship. Not just with Cha, but with the rest of the old hags. I thank God, Nono is not pikon and so is Borne or I delightfully call Nang. Ketchie, Jowi and Eumir, I hope you’d still hang in there. Remember this bitches, we can fight all day, all night but remember the times we’ve been together and hopefully that’d make sense that it’s not worth the fight, hands-down, ah-ah not worth to lose the precious ‘fwendship’ we’ve had.
So, back to Dampa - we were scouring for that damn Along Tonya’s place, and the fucking rain just won’t help. Raining cats and dogs will never help. But it did for that one time and so we went. There were just a few of us, and eventually the place came about with familiar faces that I love. We ate, drank, ate again, made jokes and had snorty laughs, ate again, bitched around, whine sometimes, and do some photo ops here and there, flirt with the waiter, flirt with the dates, gossiped, smoked our lungs out, ate again, and lastly sang our hearts out with the good ol’ dependable karayo-keee. God, it was nice to keep singing and singing and a lil dancing here and there.

Then came the sad songs. We all know Eumir would be leaving in a few days and we’ll never know when we’ll ever see his medyo mestiza/medyo chinta face again, so some guys were already crying. At that point, I couldn’t feel the sadness yet. Being a Leo, I hate sad moments and I was fighting hard not to let the rain drops on my eyes fall. Although I’ll miss Eumir terribly, I just kept thinking, I’ll see bakla again come January when it’ll be my turn to say bye-bye to Pinas. What I’ll probably miss out about Eunice the most will be our coffee and yosi moments where any topic can be touched on like crraaayyy-zy. He being a Leo too, we’d both have the same interest and pet-peeves, same thing with Cha and Jowi, it was always a nice feeling to have the same interests and could relate on it much. Nono, Borne and Ketchie were trying to fight hard not to weep, I know they’ll miss the bayot too but they were probably smiling at the thought of Eumir who told Cutler “Kalami mag-palobot!”. Haha.

But beyond all that, I guess it was really the thought that each one of use were ‘growing’. I mean people are moving on with their lives, and it’s a sad fact since we all have plans, a better future and I know eventually we’ll be apart in distance at one point or another and it saddens me. This ‘fwendship’ the we unknowingly nurtured over the years could be torn apart in distance. Thank God for technology, we can catch up with our Daily Dose on YM! Or maybe, catch a plane and just visit each other. Why not? That’s the power of money and efficient transportation can do these days.

Ten years from now, I’ll see Cha – a very successful entrepreneur with tons of Char! Cupcakes branches scattered all over Pinas, and some within Asia and in the US and even surmounted the success of Krispy Kremes, and is the reason why some people are overweight because of those delightful Tiramisu cupcakes! Cha is also the CEO of her own modeling agency which is headed by no other than her two incredibly looking daughters, Charm and Bianca! Nono – a headstrong business woman who now resides in the US with her own brand of cosmetics, and a merchandiser of high-fashion designer clothing which had famous actresses and actors all over the world flocking towards her, and was even responsible of hooking a well-respected, good-looking closeted actor to me. Borne – who now has 2 kids, a boy and girl with the love of his life who at the same time, is the head honcho of a business she thought of innovatively while mountain climbing Mt. Apo! Borne also juggles her time surfing and has numerous international awards up her sleeve! Eumir – happily married now to Paolo who are both now Canadian immigrants and are living a life both have never thought of – owning a successful club that surpassed the height of popularity and success of Club 54, and oh yeah an adopted boy, ironically named Raji. From time to time, their family would travel all over Europe and send me expensive gifts to cities they’ve been to. Meanwhile, Jowi is now the Mayor of Bagiuo City and is currently on her second seat – the first ever woman of the third sex to be appointed of such and is well-loved by everyone because of her kind-heart and smart decisions. Jowi was also responsible of making Bagiuo City had its first annual Ice Capital in Southeast Asia for an invention she made which lowered the temperature and had for the first time, snow! Thank God to ukay-ukay, everyone were able to get a hand of those winter jackets. And Ketchie, oh this girl is a blast. She was able to fulfill her dream of being a Flight Attendant on her 30th birthday and just a few months after was promoted to head mistress because of a flight incident wherein she was able to save thousands of passengers by preventing food poison. I was one of those lucky bastards as I was on my way home to Maui. Ketchie of course had a few more Keisha’s and one little boy name Dexter Jr. Ketchie juggles her time with her business appropriately named “D Homemaker Etc” which is a uber-successful catering business which has Madame Arroyo going gaga over her famous French toast! Another loved-one namely Terry also had a few shares of luck. Terry who is now a famous comedienne, who was already successful here in Pinas and even had Ai-Ai de las Alas as back-up, was finally smitten by the Hollywood scene wherein he is now the lead for the new season of Will and Grace, he being Grace. As for me, ever wondered what happened to good ol’ me? Still keeping the ‘fwendship’ intact, and of course I was the sole scientist who invented the cure for Ate Aida and Cancer of everything. But that’s just a maybe, as I could have been a famous runway director, or simply just married a filthy-rich, hunky and good-looking, intellectual, well-endowed sex maniac billionaire who aside from his multi-national businesses here and abroad, only lives and breathes for me and I became a simple housewife, who not only spends our riches with no guilt on food, clothing, cars and houses, also found the habit to cook meals and tends for the kids.

So I take this opportunity to thanks all my good, no terrific and fabulous friends: Cha, Eumir, Nono, Borne, Ketchie and Jowi for being there with me through though thick and thin and through sick and sin, and wishing our ‘fwendship’ would never end. Thank you to my other good friends namely Karen (I miss you girl), Anne, Paula, Gretch, Terry (who I adore so much), Ruthy (asus), Yan Uy (musta na day? Miss you buang), Nina and Mary (my pretty friends from CVG, miss you bitches), Gelai, Mike, Clarke, Aimee, Dee, Jed Avik, Trina and of course to my dear ol’ best friend in Tate, Cris who will forever be cherished. I miss you and I hope to see you soon biatch. The end.
Any comments, suggestions, violent reaction, feel free to drop me a line.


Aries – A lot more callers will be referring to you as “Miss” or “Ma’am even if you’re not. Might be a good time to start using natural voice.

Taurus – The influence of Mars on Jupiter would lead to unexpected things. Expect something to happen to you one of these days, like, uhm, getting a boyfriend/girlfriend for one.

Gemini – Something is bothering you these days, start eating slower than what you normally would do. It would best to have a capsule of Attapulgite handy.

Cancer – Hmmm wait let me think… Oh yeah you’re going to lend someone a huge amount of money without expecting anything in return. It would be best to look for a guy name “Henry Sy” and ask more about this.

Leo – You are about to hit rock-bottom this week. Better make arrangements soon for an immediate medical treatment.

Virgo – It might be wise to use shampoo once in awhile, detergent soap just won’t do anymore.

Libra – A wise man once said. “Good things happen to those who wait.” So just hang in there…

Scorpio – A past flame will start to talk to you again and they will remind you of how you used to be…really…miserable.

Sagittarius – If you feel the urge to uhm wait, hmmm if you feel the urge to…ah forget about it, if you feel something just make sure to let it out somewhere private.

Capricorn – You definitely need a rest. No explanations needed, all you need is a mirror and take a good look at yourself.

Aquarius – You will start to notice the mistakes made bu somebody else but you would fail you detect you own. Oh crap, am I talking about your dress again?

Pisces - You have been practicing real hard and feel there has been a massive improvement. You are now able to finish 4 sticks of cigarettes within a minute.

The Art of Backstabbing

The Art of Backstabbing

Bitches roam around the world in a devil may care attitude. For these creatures, they’ll screw you over and over and they won’t even bother to see if there are left-over’s. These half-dead/half-unknown beings fly by any time of the day, unlike the night ghouls that only haunt the shit out of everyone at what else but nighttime till the wee hours…These bitches are worser than the zits on your shoulder or the so-called “back-nes” or acnes that are unsightly situated at your back (which some people just like to flaunt by wearing backless blouses or sleeveless, which by the way is totally gross) , or maybe those little cringey bed bugs that unknowingly creep into your skin and leave red marks all over once they’ve sucked all the blood they want (hey, hey, hey…I just wanna make it clear that I’ve never experienced any of this, just a friend’s experience. Hehe).
Back to real life, let’s just refer to these people as the ‘BS’ for now, short for backstabbers of course. I’m here to amaze you at how good they work their asses just to keep this status, wow you’ll be amazed. BS actually are almost everywhere, you name it – school, public market, malls and yes you guessed it at the office, which of course I’ll be spilling some beans, juicy ones in a bit. BS are synonymous to liars, two-faced, psycho and one of the best terms I use – KUPAL. Gawd, how I want my pretty hands slapping their already tormented faces.

I’m trying to think hard right now when I got my first taste of someone backstabbing me. Hmmm think, think think Superguy…hmmm high school? Maybe but those were lame. College days, let me see, bullshit. Nothing really serious happens during those days. Ah, let me get to the real deal right away. There’s this bitch at the office, let me describe her – ‘bout 5 feet 5, slim with a little beer belly and god, the skin, dark and druh-ayyy. She has this straight long hair, with blonde strips on the front of her hair which makes her an ugly version of Uma Khouny, with long hair of course and chimay version. Of course, typical in any BS story, we started out as friends. Well, I treated her one until that one day I heard from a reliable source, this bitch was telling lies I was blocking the promotion of one guys, a conceited guy by the way. I mean what the heck, I didn’t even have that kind of power to do such thing, even if I do want to. I mean this ‘dude’ and I were both promoted at the same time for the same position, if spill something utterly gruesome about him just to get an edge, I’d have my reputation ruined in a split second ergo I wouldn’t get the position if I did so. The common sense nga naman, it doesn’t seem to be blessed in everyone. I also heard some juicy that after Mr. Conceited and I got promoted, I spread rumors that I was against him, that he didn’t deserve it and all that shit, I mean I was just the receiving end or just mostly saying ‘I second the motion’ most of the time as it wasn’t completely me who was against him. I mean I just couldn’t care less about the guys to even care. I love mah-self too much to care about other purposeless people in life. Anyway, that’s what I heard from the lady bitch, let’s just call Makati Ave Girl (no clues here as to why we call her that). Until I never got her intention why she would spread such negativity, so what I did, I just screwed her over. Watched every bit of mistake she made and slapped her with a memo for Insubordination! At least that’ll be forever on her record! I guess she’s just too insecure ‘coz I’m way too pretty. Harhar. Eat your heart out fart-face. If you’re reading g this honey, that won’t be the last. :-P

Another one, there’s this FUGLY fag(coined term for fat and ugly) at the office who was under me, who at first seemed so meek and mild, as if he couldn’t hurt even a single fly (‘coz he’d eat it right away that fly didn’t know what hit him, or what ‘ate’ him. Get it. Ha-ha). About six feet tall, as you know, a big storage of lard, and a fuck-face looking lad, fag I meant. He was kind of notorious to his other teammates, as he has a thing for bragging, and of course BS-ing others not knowing it’ll eventually be heard by the ones involved. So people started moving far away from him, yet this person still acts as if he’s innocent. Too bad, he was such a bad actor. My story involved his resignation, wherein he was asked why he wanted to resign and told people I was the deciding point why he wanted to resign. I mean I’m no angel, but I wasn’t really that surprised that he’d also be doing the thing he does best on me. Again, the nerd! Oh well, his sins still hasn’t been judged YET, but karma do know how to work its way in, everyone just realized that he’s nothing but a big, fat two-faced face a-hole that everyone is just disgusted by him and has no friends…too bad M, you’re just going to deal with that for the rest of your life. Oh, another revenge for me I guess, I’ve hit him once or twice maybe with a shuttlecock in a game while he tried to ‘fit in’ with our badminton group. Serves him right. As I’ve said, this ain’t the finale honey. If your reading this as well, wait for the final blow.

I actually got termed as ‘amo mong bakla’ once by this supposed innocent girl still at the same office who was under me. She was actually a loner, and just tried her best to fit it. One day, she called in sick and texted me that she won’t be able to make it to work because of skin disease she has (ugh), and I was just giving her protocol that since she informed us late, she might get a write-up. Then another text came in, a mis-sent! She was texting her friend and inadvertently sent to me instead which stated ‘Binabanatan ako ng amo kong bakla’, and what I did – I just replied back “Hope you’ll cope well with your skin disease, love amo mong bakla!” The next day she reported to work, I was just laughing my heart out, she just couldn’t look straight into my eyes. I guess shame can be vengeful too. Haha.

I guess these people should know by now that I don’t get mad, I get even (as the clichĂ© goes), and work hard, party harder (umm what? Connect please). One thing I really learned in life is never back down from a fight, and you have to fight wisely. And with karma on my side, these people who BS you will definitely have it big time, in due time. With people like these, sometimes I wanna thank them because it made me stronger (cue in: Cristina A song) and of course without these low life creatures, life wouldn’t be too exciting. I thank the m because we have something to talk about during our ‘Daily Dose’, and without them, hell would be empty.
Got more juicees next time. This one people who think they’re far better than others. Oh I got lots of goods to tell, one involving a hobbit, one who ‘just got lucky’, one who looks like Kermit, and one referred to as ‘her chubbynessence’. Lol, I’m just dying to tell.